Reality Check
7 Deliberate Ways to Start 2019 by being Patient and Trusting your Journey

7 Deliberate Ways to Start 2019 by being Patient and Trusting your Journey

Kenneth lay in bed and did not feel like going out. He just lay under the covers scrolling through the New Year celebration messages that his friends were putting up, he will swap from Whatsapp Status to Instagram stories and finally settled endlessly scrolling through Facebook posts. He felt left out and had nothing to celebrate.

The above story is typical of many people, who look into the New Year and something in their heart makes them feel inadequate. It might be due to their singlehood, they still have not found the love they seek? Maybe it’s because they are unemployed or need an improvement in their finances.

These points below will let you realize life is neither black nor white but rather a cocktail containing components of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.

1. Being alive every day is a Gift

The fact that you are alive today and reading this shows there is a purpose for your life. Thousands of people went to bed and never woke. No matter how bad it is, because you are alive, there is a possibility for things to work for your good. When you wake every day, have a positive mindset that things will align in your favor.

Focus on the little things you have and attack every day with renewed vigor.

“Any day above ground is a good day. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.”

― Germany Kent

2. There is NO ‘There’

There is really no destination in life. Each day comes with different goals and challenges.

An instance can be a hard working lady who thinks getting married will make her life easier and better not knowing each step in life comes with its own baggage. After hitching a husband, then comes children and then more need for expansion financially or otherwise. There is a continuous struggle for improvement.

There is no end till the very end and things can change at any time. Never stack all your life on one goal or success.

Life is about continuous growth and improvement.

3. Have your own personal definition of success and happiness.

Take time out to define what success and happiness mean to you. There are many people who are unhappy because they base their thoughts on what other people are chasing.

Do not use the world’s yardstick. Take your time to write out things that are important and put them in order of priority.

For example, Timi is an engineer in his mid-40’s who is married with 3 young children. His thoughts of success and happiness is:

1. To be able to provide for his immediate and extended family.
2. To spend as much time as possible with his kids so as to groom them to be better people.
3. Give back to the community by joining a NGO that offers free extra classes for secondary school students in his local government
4. To be physically fit and have stamina.

Due to the list above, you can easily find Timi more fulfilled doing the things that he loves which is spending time with his family and young people.

To other people, their values might include getting wealthy beyond their wildest dreams among other things. Others might seek fame and want to be popular.

There is nothing wrong with any value system that you choose as long as it connects with you deeply.

4. Be wary of Social Media.

It is very dangerous to use the standard of Social media as a basis of living. Not all stories and pictures posted are a true representation of what is truly happening in people’s lives.

Not everything that glitters is gold. Some of the clothes and cars used to pose for the beautifully filtered picture were borrowed. Some people posting a beautiful picture with their partner might be going through a very rough patch in their relationship. Instead of consuming yourself with worry, use your energy to plan and move forward.

This does not mean all you see online is false. Some people are actually doing very well. All you have to do is to celebrate with them but you should not dwell on negative thoughts. Also spend a limited time online if you are not researching. Scrolling through social media can waste one’s time, your time is a very precious resource.

Keep working to improve yourself. Do not be dragged into the trap of social media.

5. Improve where you are.

Do not just hope and pray that your lot becomes better.

You need to take practical steps to be better at the current situation you find yourself. If you have not gotten a different result in your situation, it simply means you need to try a different approach. Do not be frustrated when your request as not been answered, you might be asking the wrong questions.

If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.” — W. Edwards Deming

If you have been submitting your CV to different organizations, for example, and you have no response or feedback, maybe it’s time to change your location, your resume, attitude, and possibly change the caliber of friends you keep.

Something has to change for there to be a new way.

6. Have an Attitude of Gratitude.

We all have something to be grateful for. Look for yours daily.

It might not be much but realize there is someone on planet earth who is willing to trade all s/he has for that thing.

You might not have a great salary and afford to travel to exotic islands for a vacation but do you have people that love you for who you are? There are people that have all the things in the world but nobody to share it with.

Be grateful for what you have while you hope and work towards something better.

7. Have a connection with God.

I saved the best for last. This is more than religion, more than just going to the church or mosque.

Have a simple relationship with God and you’ll find respite in your dark times. Human beings will disappoint at some point, but once you have an eye on a force that is bigger than them, no matter what you go through, you will not be weary.


1. Being alive every day is a Gift: Do not take the fact that you are alive for granted. Appreciate every day.

2. There is NO ‘There’: It is a continuous trip that has its ups and down. Learn to enjoy and endure the trip.

3. Have your own personal definition of success and happiness: Do not use someone else’s definition to live your life.

4. Be wary of Social Media. : Do not spend all your time scrolling, use your time wisely not just liking pictures.

5. Improve where you are: There is a reason you are in your current situation, outgrow it by learning veraciously.

6. Have an Attitude of Gratitude: Nothing beats having a heart of gratitude, positivity will exude in all aspects of your life.

7. Have a connection with God: Have a strong spiritual life that helps you fight the battles of life.

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